If the content of this video makes no sense to you, don’t worry, it doesn’t make sense to me either. The language is hypnotic, artfully vague–i.e. devoid of content–yet obviously very expressive and passionate, carrying a sense of urgency and intensity. It’s an energized, shamanic rant to stir you up, and obviously geared towards those with a New Age worldview (who else would go see a trance channel for advice on living).

Esther is co-author with her husband Jerry of a series of popular books on “manifestation”–Ask and It Is Given, The Law of Attraction, etc. that teach you how to get what you want (manifest) while being “in the flow.”

The similarity to Tony Robbins–with a New Age twist–is striking:

Apparently the Hicks’ teach a method of positive thinking called “pivoting,” where you switch out what you see in the world that upsets you (e.g. someone’s disapproving glance) for something you’d rather see or experience (e.g. the same person smiling). In it’s less shallow versions, this ends up being another form of positive thinking, focusing on the positive when everything around you is bleak.

Personal development has developed advanced methods for doing similar things that used to just be called “positive thinking.” Tony Robbins’ version he calls “state management”–the ability to change your feelings or moods in any moment by changing your body (physiology: breathing, movements, posture, etc.), internal images, or internal dialogue. This is a particularly powerful way of taking control of your inner experience. However, it is not without it’s side effects.

Is Happiness a Feeling?

Hedonism is the view that life is basically about feeling good. Most people who have not reflected too much on what life is about basically live according to this view–which means you probably do. Personal development literature usually does not question it, except for some rare authors who emphasize the development of virtue as the good life.

There are subtle forms of hedonism that postulate that the ultimate pleasures come from service to others and contemplation of philosophy and art, but most hedonists (i.e. most humans) want physical pleasure, creature comforts, endless full-body orgasms, and positive emotions galore more than anything.

If you basically think pleasure is what life’s about, you have a couple main options for maximizing happiness. One is to control your environment to be maximally pleasurable–obtain big lounge chairs, delicious foods, wine, women, some fancy cars, a big plasma TV, some drugs, and royally enjoy yourself. Most Americans are attempting to live some version of this goal.

For those lower on the socio-economic ladder or who see themselves as more “spiritual,” one can learn how to endogenously generate chemicals of pleasure through techniques like state management, or even subtle spiritual pleasures of bliss from intense concentration. The advantage is that these are generally free and don’t run out when the money does. They also can seem “spiritual” in that one can renounce worldly pleasures for the pleasures inside, and often one enters a kind of flow state when playing around with self-generated feelings.

Personal development tends to be a blend of the two, learning how to be worldly successful so that you can have all the things that bring physical pleasure and the pleasure of social dominance, while simultaneously learning how to amp up your internal feelings so that you can go about this quest in a state of mania with delusions of grandeur. It’s the American dream run amok.

Why I Learned Positive Thinking, and Why I Unlearned It

I studied Philosophy in college, was a member of several activist organizations, and generally thought the world was screwed up in numerous ways and needed to change bigtime. After I graduated, I found the only job I could get was working for a credit card processing company, working on the phone at the Helpdesk, in a cubicle where they pumped in white noise that gave me a massive headache.

One day I got sick with something like mono and I lied in bed for 3 weeks. My unconscious had decided that I was not going to work anymore for my corporate overlords, but I had no idea what to do. I was depressed and lost, with no hope for a positive future, and no idea how the hell to integrate my intuition that the real world was a terrible place to live with actually making enough money to support myself as an adult.

A friend loaned me some tapes from Tony Robbins, and I listened to the whole Personal Power II series–which is supposed to take 30 days–in 21 days. By the time I was done, I was so excited about my future and how successful I was going to be, I was pissing adrenaline.

I began practicing a similar moment-to-moment practice like pivoting that I learned from Tony Robbins called “state management,” a sophisticated form of positive thinking.

Basically the idea is that you can change your state/moods/thinking in any moment if you don’t like the current one. Kinda like changing the channel. The technique is easy enough: change your physiology (body), your internal images, or what you are saying to yourself.

I got really, really good at this. It was useful at the time, and in difficult circumstances, I still use it today.

I found two problems though, in working with this as a way of life. Two things that really screwed me over for a while, which is why I’m writing this blog post in the first place–so you can learn from my dumb-ass mistakes.

1. In my quest to live a life of ecstasy (not unlike Ms. Hicks or Mr. Robbins in the above videos, I was capable of such charismatic displays, mostly through dance), I developed intense mood swings, from the highest of high peaks, to moderately low burnout (not full-on depression, because I had used cognitive-behavioral methods to transform my inner dialogue pretty fully).

I learned to run my neurology so well that I came up against the limits of my body’s ability to keep up. Eventually this cultivation of hypomania lead to adrenal fatigue where I was too tired to get out of bed 2 or more days a week, which I hoped would be on the weekend so I wouldn’t miss work, but I wasn’t always so lucky.

It’s taken about 4 years to recover from living this way, with lots of help from my herbalist, eating well, and generally living less intensely. I’m still exploring the extent to which I can experience intense moods without depleting my adrenals.

2. Because I was so good at changing my state, I developed intense psychological shadow elements. I became very, very good at repressing or denying aspects of myself or my life that I didn’t want to look at.

There’s a well-known technique in hypnosis where you create anaesthesia–especially useful for getting dental work without drugs–called hypnotic pain control. This is a useful technique, but if you use it to ignore the message the pain is giving you, the problem can get a whole lot worse.

I similarly was able to create a kind of emotional anaesthesia, ignoring the messages that some of the discomfort or difficult emotions were telling me. After a while, this incongruence or lack of inner ecology made the techniques I was using less and less effective, leading to total breakdown–the techniques I had been using to get happy no longer worked, and simultaneously I had a lot more problems in my life as a result of not listening to the alarms that had been going off in the form of negative emotions.

Core Transformation, with it’s focus on listening to every part for it’s deeper positive purposes, has been deeply healing for me because of that. Surprisingly, I’ve found Core Transformation to also help quickly change my state–not by swishing out a different feeling or image, but by going into the core of the existing feeling to it’s source, the Self in Jungian psychology.

The Cultivation of Delusion

When anyone first hears of positive thinking, they immediately think it’s cheesy and stupid. There is wisdom in this intuition.

Pivoting, positive thinking, and state management function by changing your focus from what you see to what you imagine. This can be helpful, especially in emergency situations or severe mental imbalance where thinking positively can determine the difference between life and death. It can also be a natural functioning of our ability to choose what we want and to make plans for the accomplishment of our outcomes. This ability is largely only present in human beings, and is responsible both for our outstanding technological success as well as our outstanding ability to destroy our life-sustaining environments.

In contrast to pivoting and positive thinking, Buddhism and other eastern philosophies would consider these practices as the cultivation of delusion or ignorance. There is a kind of freedom in being able to create one’s own delusion (”I create my own reality”)–but it’s a freedom that comes at the expense of truth. I found that when I practiced state management that the price was ultimately too high to bear, and I became addicted to the chemicals spinning in my neurology that I endogenously generated, eventually hitting “rock bottom” as they talk of in 12-step groups. I never got into drugs as a kid, both because I was afraid of the dangers and because I simply couldn’t afford them! But I learned how to get my highs for free.

Perhaps these methods will work out better for you. Some people seem to like drugs, and don’t have any apparent problems coping with the highs and lows of regular drinking, smoking, or what have you. Similarly, some people seem to be cool with denying reality and are more comfortable and functional with their delusions. If that’s you, then continue to ignore what I write about, and go read some other personal development blog!

If on the other hand, if you see signs that perhaps your positive thinking, pivoting, or state management is having side-effects that are more significant that the cure, I’d recommend checking out Core Transformation, mindfulness meditation, or some other approach that cultivates wisdom through accepting things fully, and finding that in doing so, they also change.

Duff is a transpersonal development life coach specializing currently in the Core Transformation process–an extremely effective method of rapid change with few to no side-effects. To get a 1/2 price Core Transformation session (only $50 for 90 minutes! Only good until Nov 31st) email duff@precisionchange.com or call him at 303-520-8658.

I had tended to react with anger towards what I viewed as “his inauthenticity and greed,” including the long-form sales letters that he writes to sell his popular products, the outrageous fees he charges for his “mastermind group,” and his “double your dating” course that I read long ago which I was now seeing as a superficial approach to relating with the opposite sex. Within an hour, I no longer had this reactivity towards him. I might not want to hang out with him, but we are both just people, and being a hater isn’t helping anybody, and it’s not creating something beautiful.

To my surprise, today I discovered that my reactivity towards another guy (i.e. “jerkbag”)–UK magician and hypnotist-entertainer Darren Brown–was also gone. I just watched a few Darren Brown videos on YouTube, which in the past would have set me off with indignant anger and digust. Tonight I had no reaction except curiosity (quite frankly, he is a master hypnotist with great language patterns), some enjoyment of his entertaining style, and also some criticism (without any intense feelings) of some of his acts where he picks on people or shows people how he can manipulate them (in one video, he steals a man’s wallet by using a confusion technique and then simply asking him to hand it over, which he does). The cool thing is that my reaction to Mr. Brown changed without any willpower, affirmations, visualizations, or any conscious attention whatsoever.

If you are curious how I went from hatred to indifference in about an hour, and how you too can actually let go of anger–perhaps with a loved one, or the “other” presidential candidate–then read on…

The Jerkbag I Hated Was Just My Projection…

I decided to work with a feeling of reactivity towards internet marketer Eben Pagan a few nights ago. I did this both because I was curious about what would happen, and because I’ve found some blocks in my own ability to market myself effectively and build a thriving private coaching practice. I’m also in favor of less anger and more kindness in the world, and I want to “be the change” I want to see in the world. Plus, I don’t know the guy. Everything that I think I know about him is just an idea I have about him (which by the way, is also often the case with people we think we know really well!). Being angry at him certainly isn’t going to change him, since I can’t even have a conversation with him. Meanwhile, I’m the one feeling crappy. Even if he is a jerk, he’s the one who should feel bad about it, not me!

I did the Core Transformation process with these feelings 2 or 3 nights ago, first watching a video of Eben presenting his new personal productivity product that someone had emailed me about. I first worked with the part of me that hated him, thought he was inauthentic, etc. In Jungian psychotherapy, this is classically called shadow projection, but knowing that intellectually did not change the emotions I felt. To paraphrase Connirae Andreas (the creator of Core Transformation), if you start with mental concepts then you will transform your mental concepts. But if you want to transform your experience…then begin with your experience!

How I Did It…But First, A Warning

I should start off by saying that you probably won’t learn the Core Transformation process from just reading this blog and trying some things from it. Get the book, or the DVD home training set, or attend a seminar, or get a private phone or video coaching session from me first.

If you try something after reading this blog and it doesn’t work, that’s like trying to bake a cake from a conversation overheard at a coffeeshop. It isn’t because the recipe “doesn’t work”! There are many subtleties to this technique, many of which are covered in the book, others of which are covered in an NLP practitioner or master practitioner training, others which are pure art and cannot be taught. In any case, the technique is the most powerful thing I’ve ever come across for both brief and deep yet lasting personal transformation.

With that caveat…

In the Core Transformation process, you start by identifying how you experience an unwanted feeling, behavior or response. In this case, I heard my inner dialogue saying “what a jerk,” “he seems phony and sleazy,” and even “God I hate him.” I checked to see where the inner voice seemed to be coming from (a way to more precisely notice your experience) and it was coming from my chin and throat. I was also breathing shallowly, with a wrinkled brow, and feeling frustration and disgust.

After identifying specifically how you experience the thing you are wanting to change, you treat it as if it’s an unconscious part of you, because you obviously didn’t consciously choose to have this response. The reason for saying it’s “as if” is because this method does not make claims about ultimate reality (”ontology” in philosophy)–it’s a practical method for personal transformation, not metaphysics or theology. If only more new-agey people understood this and stopped talking about quantum physics and healing…but I digress (another part for me to work on?).

Next, you welcome this part–instead of what we normally and habitually do, which is repress it, deny it, make it wrong or bad, feel shame for having it, etc. (all my favorites). By welcoming it, we assume that it has some positive intention for doing what it does.

Have you ever noticed how if you assume someone has a negative intention, you quickly end up in a fight? Try this with your boyfriend or girlfriend sometime. When they do something nice for you say, “Why don’t you love me!” That never fails.

Similarly, assuming someone has a positive intention is a key element in nearly all conflict negotiation strategies, and an important strategy for being in an intimate relationship!

Then you ask this part “what do you want?” and listen for experiential responses: inner dialogue, feelings, and inner images that appear in your bodymind. Yes, I said bodymind. Despite what our educations would have us believe, your mind and body are a complete system, a continuous field of subjective experience. If you don’t believe me, try not eating for a couple days, then eat a giant cheeseburger and notice if your mind and emotions are at all different than normal.

At this point, you record the outcome your part is wanting, thank it for letting you know, then ask it to step into an experience of already having this outcome, just in imagination, but really getting into the experience. Instead of waiting for experiences you want to “just happen,” you just imagine them now. How’s that for instant gratification? I mean, why wait?

Then you ask “if you have that, what do you want through having that that’s even more important?” You generally get 3-7 outcomes before getting to a state that doesn’t depend on others (like love or respect), doesn’t depend on doing or achieving anything (like success), but is more a state of being, like OKness, oneness, peace, aliveness, or even more “spiritual” experiences. This is not an intellectual understanding–this whole process is experiential, so within about 10-30 minutes, you have already gone from some unpleasant state to a state that might be far beyond what you’d normally call pleasant, with no weird beliefs to adopt–just a pragmatic stance towards assuming a part, and that the part has positive reasons for what it’s doing. It’s looking for the good in things and loving yourself in a precise recipe that works with reliable effectiveness (I’ve done it nearly 100 times).

After this, you ask “how does already having [core state] as a starting point make things different?” and then “how does already having [core state] transform [outcome]?” for each of the outcomes this part had. This tends to flip everything on it’s head. Our parts tend to think we need to do something to feel good, but we can feel good first and then what we do often changes to be much, much easier and more effective.

He’s Not a Jerk, I’m Just Better Than Him…

After I had worked with the angry part, I found a proud part. I imagined myself meeting Eben and shaking hands with him, but questioning his way of being subtly by being the “wise one,” giving cryptic teachings in order to “show him the errors of his ways.” At first I thought I was done with this process, but soon I felt pride bubbling up, a big smile on my face, and seeing an image of Eben as “beneath me.” While this was better than being angry, it still wasn’t as good as I knew I could experience.

So I worked similarly with the pride, experiencing it, welcoming it, asking what it wanted, getting to a core state, going back up the outcome chain. And today, I found I was also no longer reactive to Darren Brown and his wacky stunts. I’m not going to follow in his footsteps or learn how to trick people into giving me their wallets, but I’m also not going to freak about him, or rather my idea of him.

A Recipe for Transformation

We all have people in our lives that occasionally, or even frequently piss us off, frustrate us, make us mad, or even that we hate. So far I’ve worked with several of my own parts that hated or were frustrated by others, and several clients experiencing anger or hatred towards ex-partners, people who “screwed” them in business, etc. All have found significant relief from the grip of hatred in 60-90 minutes with this process. I had one client who was normally very kind, but in this case was afraid they would lose control and hurt another person due to their anger. Within 60 minutes, this was no longer an issue…although they still planned to tell the other how they had hurt them.

I urge you to work with this process or some other to transform your hatred, if not into love, than at least into indifference or assertiveness. Your life will be better for it, and the world will be a slightly more kind place to live.

We all “know” that we should be kind to others, but repressing our anger just makes us more shallow, inauthentic people. Expressing our anger is often dangerous, especially if it has reached the levels of hatred or rage. Telling yourself or others to just let it go rarely works. What I love about Core Transformation is the precision and reliability of the process–it has worked nearly every time I’ve done it with myself (except 2 or 3 times when I couldn’t concentrate enough to lead myself through it), and every time I’ve done it with clients so far.

For more information about how to get a Core Transformation coaching session, email duff [at] precisionchange.com or call him at 303-520-8658.

In these essays, I will be philosophically deconstructing the assumptions that the field of personal development is built upon in order to reconstruct the field in a new, more inclusive and healthier way. Your comments are highly encouraged!

We’ve already covered the problems with assuming “personhood” in personal development. Now we turn our attention towards the idea of “development” and the unexamined assumptions behind it.

The unexamined life is not worth living. ~Socrates

In personal development literature, it is usually assumed that the goal is continuous, linear (or even exponential) improvement in all areas of life: financial, relational, mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, career, etc. At first glance, this seems like a good thing, all else being equal. But is this possible, or even desired? What is the role of improving one’s self in the good life and in the promotion of human happiness? Can life be modeled accurately by a straight, upward pointing line?

Home and Self: Never Done, Never Good Enough

One significant problem with the quest for self-improvement is that it is never done, which can fuel one’s sense of never being good enough. Personal development tends to become a way of life, one that is ultimately dissatisfying because there is no rest, and no “done.” You can never check off personal development as complete, and there’s always somebody more developed than you in one or more areas. In addition, you are not fully in control of your life, your body, or even your mind, emotions, and actions. Unless the transhumanists are right, we will all ultimately die, and even before we die, our bodies, minds, and often bank accounts (due to hospitalization in the last few months of life) will diminish and degrade very significantly.

You can never get enough of what you don’t really need. ~ Eric Hoffer

Ever noticed how Americans are engaged in endless home improvement? Once the bathroom gets remodeled, it’s on to the kitchen, then the garage, then the spare bedroom, then the living room, etc. Most suburban homes are under more continuous construction than most websites! Suburban Moms and Dads work all week at their jobs so that they can work all weekend on their bathrooms, basements, lawns, and gardens. The huge number of design shows on television only fuel this obsession with housing perfection, which of course is never achieved, and therefore never brings satisfaction or happiness. The evidence from happiness research would suggest that spending that time and money with one’s family instead of on one’s home would be a much better investment in one’s personal happiness and life satisfaction, as well as the happiness of those one cares most about!

The home design industry changes “what is hot” nearly as fast as the fashion industry, in large part to fuel consumer dissatisfaction in order to drive revenues. When do we just live in our homes and relax with nothing to do, feeling satisfied and complete? Imagine a home design show that came in to someone’s home and said “hmmm…looks good enough to me–I wouldn’t change a thing.”

In dream analysis, a dream about a house is often seen as a metaphor for the self. It’s interesting that Americans (and many westerners) are obsessed with endless home improvement as much as we are obsessed with endless self-improvement. We find ourselves unable to rest in our homes or in our selves, constantly seeking something better, often in competition with the neighbors, or with idealized media images.

Greater economic development over the past 100+ years has lead to no increase in reported happiness or life satisfaction. In 50 years, a similar thing might be said about personal development. If we are always looking towards the ever-receding horizon, if we are thinking about the neighbor’s greener grass, if we are comparing our bank accounts, bodies, and babies with media images of success, we are cultivating dissatisfaction as a way of life.

I’ve never seen a television home improvement show, nor have I ever read a personal development book, which laid out criteria for when the improvement was done. By that I mean not just the individual project, but improvement generally. When is your home or your self “good enough”? It is well known from the research in positive psychology that “maximizing” leads to dissatisfaction and “satisficing” (being satisfied with good enough) leads to satisfaction and happiness (see Barry Schwartz’s excellent book The Paradox of Choice).

Personal development books in particular often explicitly state that self-improvement is never done, as if dissatisfaction and perfectionism were virtues. Tony Robbins speaks of “constant and never-ending improvement” as something to cultivate. Many authors repeat the slogan “if you’re not growing, you’re dying”–which of course is only partly true, because we are all dying from the moment we are born, regardless if we are consciously pursuing our own growth or not! The question is do we want to live with happiness and satisfaction, or pursuing a goal that by definition cannot be satisfied?

Linear vs. Non-Linear Models of Human Life and Development

As I mentioned earlier, life as seen from personal development seems to be that of a straight line pointing upward, a model of linear progress. Affirmations like “every day in every way my life is getting better and better” are good examples of this. However, this is not the only possible way to model a human life.

Many ancient religions saw life as either a circle from birth to death, or an arc from birth, peaking at middle age, and falling downward to death. This kind of modeling tends to give one an appreciation and acceptance for things outside of one’s control, like the decay of the body (which I’m already beginning to feel at 29), loss of memory and hearing in late life, etc. It also gives a sense that there are naturally-suited times for having children and a family, for pursuing career goals, and for pursuing spirituality and philosophy. Seeing life all-at-once in this way puts things in perspective. For example, it is normal for someone to seek career development in their 20s, 30s, and 40s, peaking often times in mid 40s, and changing significantly after that to a more senior role, or simply declining in importance in one’s life.

Life seen as an arc from birth, upward to middle age, and downward to death gives a very different and much more realistic perspective than life seen as an upward line of continuous improvement and progress. Westerners usually don’t see life in terms of a cycle however, with the results that we ignore the old and the wisdom many possess, and we tend to over-extend certain phases of life (especially youth). In particular, we push our bodies beyond their limits with the types of physical exercise we take on, we push ourselves to constantly make more money (even amongst the ultra-wealthy) even after our careers have peaked, we artificially maintain our youthful looks with plastic surgery, etc. When we model our lives linearly, we miss that phases of life come naturally to a close, and we resist against this instead of letting go and moving on.

Life can also be seen as a sine wave, going up and down in somewhat regular cycles. I’ve found this to be much more accurate of a description of any sort of path of growth, including the spiritual path. One goal of spiritual development is to accept life’s ups and downs with equal appreciation.

Development vs. Maturity

Personal Development is something that tends to be pursued consciously, with explicit, written, time-bounded goals and plans. But much of our “development” happens naturally, as a result of going through the life-cycle and our responses to the challenges that come into our lives unexpectedly. This type of development could be called maturation, with the result being maturity.

Maturity is not something that needs to be consciously planned out in advance. Maturity emerges from one’s response to challenging life circumstances, like having a child, getting laid off, or contracting cancer. Much of what people are seeking through personal development can happen through maturation, through courageously responding to the challenges that come one’s way without seeking them out. In this way, a lot less needs to be on your to-do list.

Engaging in relationships with others–family, intimate relationship, community, parenting–leads to enormous personal development. Parenting in particular is an incredible opportunity for development in many different areas. Living in a cooperative house or co-housing community is another incredible opportunity for development and maturation, in addition to being much more environmentally sustainable. Learning about the world’s biggest problems and attempting to solve them with others leads to incredible personal development and maturity, but does not explicitly involve developing one’s own abilities, career, or bank account.

Many of my coaching clients suffer from having too many goals. They often come to me complaining that they can’t get themselves to do what they want to do. In other words, part of them wants to go for all these goals, and part of them usually wants to just chill out and enjoy life more! By understanding that much “development” happens fairly naturally and automatically, we can free up energy to accept and enjoy life more, having fewer things to do, feeling better about the things we do actually accomplish, and flowing with the inevitable twists and turns of life.

A friend of mine recently joked that if life is about developing one’s self, then death would be the highest stage of development. The linear model of life leads to this absurd conclusion, while seeing life as non-linear can help us to accept the natural course of things, which is much more likely to lead to the happiness and satisfaction that we are ultimately seeking. In addition, trusting that life will provide you with many opportunities for development through maturation, you can let go of many of your goals and focus on the things that actually improve our lives: our connections with others, our own wholeness, and appreciation of the great mystery of life and the universe.

Personal Development has many assumptions. One is that there is such a think as a “person” to develop.

Now this seems fairly obvious, right? Obviously you have your own body, your own emotions, your own mind, perhaps even your own house, car, bank account, cell phone, email address, etc. How could anyone doubt they are an autonomous individual person?

To some extent, you are in fact an autonomous individual–but not nearly to the degree that you might think. There are many ways in which the assumption of personhood is actually quite weak, and may even be false.

Breathing, Eating, and Thinking are Happening

In personal development, it is assumed that there is such thing as a person, and this is obvious and fundamental. Three short examples will illustrate my point that in fact, this is not the case, and that interconnections between systems are fundamental, without which the concept of an individual person would not even make sense.

Breathing

Every few seconds, you take a breath in, and let a breath out. Is this air “you”? Most people would say that it is not. Yet if for some reason you could not breathe for even just a few minutes, you would likely die. So in a sense, the air in your lungs and around your body is both you and not you.

This air is generally composed of an optimum amount of various gases, most notably carbon dioxide and oxygen. The countless plants and animals on the earth help balance and regulate the air in an optimum ratio in a huge self-regulating system. Without this system, you would not be able to breathe. If this system got too far off-balance, life would not be possible.

Most planets do not have a ratio that could sustain life. Earth oxygen levels used to be 21% of total volume in prehistoric times, but due to the burning of fossil fuels (to power civilization), it is now dips to around 19% in many areas, and 12-17% over major cities–a less than optimal level for human health. At oxygen levels of 6-7%, life can no longer be sustained.

Is the oxygen being released from a plant in your office “you”? It supports the larger balance of oxygen and carbon dioxide in the Earth’s atmosphere, and you bring a portion of that air into you every few seconds, without which you could not exist. Certainly it is in some way a part of you, and you a part of it. Yet we don’t normally think in these terms.

Eating

Every few hours, you eat (unless you are sleeping, or reading this blog from a country undergoing severe drought and famine). Is food on your plate “you”? Again, most people would say that it is not. Yet if you do not eat within about 30 days, you will die of starvation. Is the digesting food in your stomach “you”? Hard to say. Certainly after it has been turned into tissue or burned for energy it is more “you-like,” but yet you could lose your arm and still be “you,” right? (An aside: How much of your body could you lose and still be “you”? How much of your brain could you lose and still be “you”?)

Where does your food come from? Most likely, animals and plants that are cultivated for consumption by human beings. Almost nobody grows their own food or raises their own chickens, etc. nowadays, so your very personal eating habits depend largely on the production of food by others. If you ate an egg for breakfast, was it “you” when it was laid by the hen? How about before the hen was born? Was there some future “you” in a fertilized chicken’s egg a year ago? If that’s too wacky for you to stomach (pardon the pun), then at what point did that egg become part of this thing called “you”?

Are the people who grow your food you? Certainly not. Yet you would not survive without them, and the mechanisms of production that they utilize to bring food to your table several times a day.

Thinking

Sit for about 30 seconds and try to just notice your breath without thinking. Unless you are a well-practiced meditator, you probably had between 5 and 100 thoughts just then. Where did those thoughts come from? Are those thoughts “you”?

If you practice meditation for a while, say on a silent retreat for 10 days, you begin to really notice how these thoughts come by themselves. After a few days, your internal dialogue, your inner cinema, and the inner feelings and sensations you experience begin to take on a quality of “not-me,” due to the disturbing fact that they keep happening whether you want them to or not!

But what about the thoughts you think when writing a book, or brainstorming a project? I remember the first time I thought I had come up with an absolutely brilliant original idea in Philosophy back in college. Then I found out that Plato had written the same thought nearly 2500 years before. Was the thought original to me? Unlikely. More likely is that I picked it up unconsciously from the culture around me. Ever had a boss or a spouse do this with your brilliant idea?

The same principle is displayed in the acknowledgments section of the beginning of any good non-fiction book. Most authors realize that the book “they” have written was in reality written by a huge team working with them, and that many of “their” ideas were built from the ideas of their mentors, other authors, and great thinkers throughout history. Also, in many eras new discoveries are made at nearly the same time by academics and inventors working independently (e.g. the discovery of calculus by Newton and Liebniz).

Are your original ideas “you”? Hardly. Original ideas also seem to arise spontaneously from mental activity, even when sitting in meditation. Ideas come from the same mystery as dreams, and should be treated as such.

I could go on with more examples, but three is enough for my point in this post.

Why Personhood is a Problem

Personal Development (as well as classical economics) is built on the idea of “personhood,” that there are such things as persons who are basically autonomous individuals. This is an assumption that leads to several kinds of problems.

1. The assumption of personhood in personal development presupposes that happiness is something that an individual finds for themselves, via rational deliberation, goal-setting, and planning.

This is largely not true for human beings for several reasons. First, we are social-political animals. Happiness studies have also shown that having a number of very close personal ties to friends, family, and community are a much greater indicator of reported happiness than individual success, fame, or money. Even individual enlightenment tends to lead one to the intuition that I cannot be enlightened unless all beings are enlightened, because I and all are not separate.

Similarly, human beings don’t do a good job of knowing what really makes them happy, nor actually following through on our plans. Hence why there are jobs for people like me in Life Coaching! Many people choose goals for themselves such as losing weight, which are both unlikely to optimize their happiness, and they are unlikely to actually follow through on the plans to achieving.

Personally, I’ve found that my best goal-setting occurs when it feels like my goals are emerging from something beyond me, whether I call that “intuition” or “spirit” or whatever else. The rational mind does a great job later at planning how to achieve those goals, but does not work well at all at deciding on which goals to pursue. Looking back, I’ve often found that pursuing these goals was much more fulfilling than other, more “rational” goals. I’ve also found that many things not on my goal list tend to be the most happiness producing, often developing close personal relationships, going through natural life transitions, or living through a crisis.

2. The largest problems facing our world today are problems of interconnected systems: global economic depression, ecological disaster, famine, terrorism, overpopulation, etc. According to Erwin Laszlo in The Chaos Point, we may only have until late 2012 to early 2013 to avert global systems collapse by influencing every human system towards greater holism.

Many of these global problems can be seen as problems of individual systems attempting to dominate other systems (or a part trying to be the whole), rather than working in conjunction or harmony. Cancer cells are the ultimate out-of-control individual autonomy model at the cellular level: they continue to grow themselves without any regard for their environment. Cancer cells are very good at personal development at the expense of others and their environment, ultimately to their own detriment.

An individual pursuing their single-minded personal goals can make the world’s problems worse by emphasizing personal wealth accumulation, fame (even if simply within a niche), and individual success without regard to the interconnectedness of their actions in the larger environment. When personhood is assumed and interconnectedness is minimized, this danger is more likely.

Beyond Personal Development

What are the alternatives? Can we capture the enthusiastic spirit of personal development with all it’s beneficial aspects without the problems of assuming personhood and it’s hyper-individualistic tendencies?

Transpersonal Development

I propose the solution could be called “transpersonal development.” Transpersonal refers to that which transcends and includes the personal. Transpersonal development includes developing in ways that meet one’s individual needs, but also go beyond to serve the needs of others and the systems that supports all beings on the planet, as well as connecting into something “spiritual” that transcends the individual self sense. Core Transformation is one excellent technique for transpersonal development that can be used to find goals that are truly in alignment with one’s needs, as well as solving typical psychotherapeutic problems. Insight meditation (also known as Vipassana or simply “mindfulness” practice) is also a critical practice for transpersonal development.

Transpersonal development includes developing one’s self in such a way as to find healthy individuation and the meeting of one’s needs, but not in excess. For example, transpersonal development sees excessive personal wealth accumulation as “financial obesity” which benefits no one, for beyond meeting basic needs, more personal wealth accumulation does not benefit the wealthy person in terms of real happiness, and limits the flow of financial resources from meeting the needs of others.

Core Transformation is a particularly useful technique for learning to meet one’s needs without excess, for through this process, you discover and experience what you are most deeply wanting, and then from that core state experience begin to act in the world, as an already whole and connected being. This is why I’m changing my personal coaching to be based on this one technique–it changes everything!

There is already a field of transpersonal psychotherapy which attempts to integrate healthy psychological functioning with the direct experience of the spiritual. Transpersonal development is like the do-it-yourself version, not requiring a transpersonal psychotherapist or coach to facilitate (except for emergencies and knotty problems), just as personal development often is a do-it-yourself version of counseling, therapy, or coaching.

Transpersonal development is not simply personal transcendence (surrender of the part to the whole), but it simultaneously does not ignore the whole system in which the individual is embedded. Transpersonal development is founded on the principle of ecology, awareness of the long-term impacts of the actions of one part of a system on the interactions between parts and the health of the systems in which they are embedded, whether economic, biologic, socio-political, relational, etc. In many ways, simple ethics already take this into account. The mortgage crisis would not have come about had ecology and simple long-term thinking been respected.

Transpersonal development also does not engage in dangerous or excessive practices of personal growth that could lead to psychosis, suicide, self-aggression that gets projected outwards (like “personal power”), the cultivation of mania, etc., because these lack ecology, having potential negative side-effects both for the individual and the environment. Instead, transpersonal development starts from wholeness and acceptance of things as they are, and every step of a transpersonal development process is love and acceptance. Yet transpersonal development must be as effective if not more effective at getting results, otherwise it is a step backward in psychospiritual technology.

What do you think? Do you still think “you” exist and should be the focus of your conscious development? Or do you think that both you and the larger systems you are embedded in should be considered in all “personal” development?

A few months ago, my friend Ryan had to move on to other projects. Ryan and I, along with several other friends, had started a podcast business a year prior that was going to change the world–not the first organization I had been a part of with such high ideals.

The business tanked, having no real revenue model and an investor who didn’t care about our world-changing ethos. In the same week as the business failing, I experienced a very serious family crisis. I spent the summer on unemployment, hoping to build up a podcast audience and a private life coaching practice while nursing my adrenals back to health after all that craziness.

After hearing that Ryan could not continue the podcast, that was just too much for me to simply continue with business as usual. It was time to stop and think. What the hell is going on? Where I am headed? What is my purpose? What is the role of personal development in my purpose?

In times of change, I tend to ponder. I’ve always been a bit of a philosopher, for better or worse.

Psychospiritual Development and The Ecology of Mind

Even with the creation of the Precision Change show, I’ve been pondering the role of personal development in what philosophers call “the good life.” I’ve especially been wrestling with concerns about “ecology” or the side-effects of approaches to personal development.

I’ve also been struggling with how the hell personal development–which aims to change things to how we want them to be–integrates with the spiritual notion of “accepting everything as it is” without changing it. From the personal development perspective, spirituality seems useless and passive. From the spiritual perspective, personal development seems ego and greed driven and empty, ultimately unsatisfying.

First, a little background…

Years ago, I was a superfan of Tony Robbins. I listened to his Personal Power II tapes over and over, and even attended the Unleash the Power Within seminar and walked barefoot over hot coals. But not only that, I fully intended to be “the next Tony Robbins.” I lived the Tony Robbins “unleash the cocaine within” 1980’s lifestyle, jacked up to 11, giving “1000%” with everything I did. In particular, I unleashed a charismatic side I never knew I had, growing up as I did with extreme social anxiety. I pushed myself to develop in every area of life simultaneously. I had huge lists of Big Hairy Audacious Goals. My future was so compelling I could hardly wait to take action every morning to make it real…except when I was coming down from one of the self-induced highs. I pushed myself constantly to do and become “more than anyone could ever possibly expect.”

Living this way culminated in a spectacular crash. The physical effects were that my adrenals were maxed out. A local health practitioner here in Boulder says that the adrenal glands are like a credit card–as long as you pay off the balance each month, you’re fine. To live as the next Tony Robbins, I had maxed out my adrenal credit limit, and the late fees were steep. One or two days a week, I could barely get out of bed. I hoped that those days would fall on a weekend so that I could work during the week, but I was not always so lucky. My finances were also maxed out, and and are still just beginning to recover. Instead of paying back debt, I spent whatever money I had on personal development products because not unlike many who’ve swallowed the personal development pill, I was convinced that very soon I was going to strike it rich.

My health has become much better, mostly by pulling my energy way back, taking on fewer projects, and living within my energetic means. I’ve learned how to take the time to rest. I also underwent an extensive program to heal a life-long problem with my digestive system through a local herbalist. But unlike the fairy-tale stories of self-help books, I have not now bounced back to attain super-success. On the contrary, I am more satisfied than ever with my lack of worldly success, with my ordinary humanness, with my imperfections and weaknesses.

A few months ago I joined a men’s group. The members of this group are some of the most conscious, intelligent, and successful men I know. Yet the group was oriented towards certain techniques that aggressively break you down to show you stuff about yourself you didn’t realize was there. This was a style of group therapy pioneered in the 1950’s Encounter Groups, and is unfortunately still quite popular. My intuition was that this is a dangerous practice, but I could offer no evidence, nor alternative techniques that were equally if not more effective. None of the members of the group seemed to understand my objection to this work, and they encouraged me to bring my concerns to the group, but the format for processing objections was within the frame of aggressive confrontation. It was extremely painful for me to leave, and I felt like perhaps I was a bit nuts to do so.

But then someone close to me went to an intensive all-weekend-long personal development seminar and ended up in the hospital. That was the nail in the coffin for me. In addition to inducing mania and adrenal fatigue, personal development absolutely can be dangerous! And nobody is talking about this. Even highly conscious and intelligent people don’t can’t see it. I felt like I was a bit crazy! I desperately wanted to have an alternative, to help these amazing men–and everyone involved in personal development–to be able to get the results they are wanting, without unnecessary risk and potential harm. I knew that there has to be a better way–I just didn’t know what that way was yet.

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

Meanwhile, synchronicity hit. I got bored being unemployed, and even though I didn’t know what I wanted to do next, I went looking for work. I hoped that the Precision Change podcast would launch my coaching practice, but it didn’t work out that way, and I was running out of time.

During my weekly job search, I went on Craig’s List and one of the first ads was a job with two of my all-time favorite authors in personal development, who happen to be local. I got the job, as well as another job working with a local non-profit. The non-profit job ended up not working out. Why not? Well, one reason is that they do intense personal development seminars, the type that could send you to the hospital. It wasn’t a good fit–to say the least–given my search for a better way, and the recent events.

Working for two heroes of mine, I decided to dig deeper into the personal development and therapy books they have written. I’d remembered their books being wise and considered, but at the time I had been more interested in excitement than wisdom.

One book in particular, by Connirae Andreas, I had already started to read and was on my bookshelf. It is called Core Transformation. I picked it up, and found exactly what I had been looking for, all this time.

Turning Personal Development on It’s Head

Core Transformation is the exact opposite of pretty much every personal development technique I’ve ever done. There are no affirmations. You do not attempt to think positively, reframe anything, change your state, visualize what you want, drudge up old childhood shit, face your fears, understand the origin of your problems intellectually, pump yourself up, set goals, or anything else. Neither do you simply try to accept yourself as you are without changing anything, focus on your breath, notice sensations without reacting, or let thoughts go.

Everyone knows intellectually that money, success, fame, and even good health, getting the relationship you want, and having a great job won’t necessarily make you happy. But we all constantly act under this delusion anyway! At first I couldn’t believe it–and still find it magical after practicing this technique nearly 70 times–but Core Transformation actually is helping me to live from the understanding that these things won’t make me happy…and how to be happy as a starting point instead.

In Core Transformation, you find wholeness and change through the very things you hate most about yourself, other people, and the world. And it doesn’t hurt. It is sometimes categorized as “brief therapy,” yet the results are deep and long-lasting. The only part of the process that feels bad at all is connecting with your experience of the problem, which you generally already feel when you are trying to change something. After that, it feels deeply loving and healing, because in a sense, it is the missing recipe for the deep, healing self-love that everyone talks about and says you should do, but doesn’t show you how.

The most amazing thing to me is that within 5 to 15 minutes, I can consistently go from totally stuck in reaction, anxiety, sadness, anger, and other unpleasant experiences to experiencing a Core State like Oneness, OKness, Love, Being, or connection to something greater than myself. I’ve tried for years to “manage my state” and “think positive” and I’m really good at those things now–but they’ve often felt like I’m repressing something, or splitting off part of myself. When thinking positively, I usually feel less whole, and like I have to “pump myself up” to get something done. But what goes up, must come down….

What Doesn’t Kill You, Might Maim You For Life!

I’ve read numerous times that our difficulties are the source of healing and goodness, that “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” I’ve reframed myself into thinking this way. But it hasn’t always felt true for me. There are many times that what hasn’t killed me has scarred me and made me weaker.

I didn’t have a recipe for how to go from stress to strength. I didn’t have the how of wholeness. Personal development blogs and books are full of great advice on what’s wrong and what you should do, but very few have a clear enough procedure for how to do it. “You should love yourself.” But how specifically do I do that!

Life was clever enough to connect me with exactly what I was needing most, and for that, I am incredibly grateful. I think it’s hilarious that I already had the book Core Transformation sitting on my bookshelf. I had picked it up to read a few months before, but I stopped before I had really practiced it. I guess there is a proper time for everything!

How All This Impacts the Precision Change Podcast

So what does this have to do with the Precision Change show? Well, honestly, I’m just not interested in most approaches to personal development anymore. I see most as useless, dangerous, have negative side-effects, or just lack the elegance and far-reaching benefits of Core Transformation. As my herbalist said, you shouldn’t have to heal from your healing. I’ve spent too many years healing from my personal development, and I’ve seen first hand what some of the dangers of overly intense techniques and seminars can do to people. Nobody should ever have to suffer needlessly in their quest to grow, change, and become a better person.

Core Transformation is the only technique I’ve found so far (and I’ve surveyed hundreds if not thousands) that gives such quick and powerful results without excessive pain or negative side-effects. I’ve done it about 60 times personally in the past 3 months, and it’s been incredibly helpful in about 95% of my personal trials. The 5% of times in which it didn’t seem to work I was generally in a very unresourceful state and couldn’t concentrate enough to do the process. And on a deep level, it’s changing my habitual relationship to my experience from that of reaction and repression to that of love and understanding!

So I’ve decided to focus my energies (which are usually scattered in sampling many different personal development techniques) on the thing I’m feeling is both most effective and most important. I’ve changed my personal development to be entirely focused on practicing Core Transformation, and I’m transitioning my coaching practice to be similarly focused.

You’ve Read This Far? You Deserve A Reward!

Would you enjoy receiving reasonably priced, incredibly effective personal transformation? I thought so. Which is why I have decided to run a special 1/2 off deal, and keep my regular price affordable as well.

I’ve already run 5 people through the process, all experienced their Core State or states, and all reported that it was very helpful in changing the problem they came in with. That’s 100% success in one session–a much higher rate with much faster results than my typical coaching sessions for which clients have happily paid $75 an hour.

From what I’ve experienced personally so far, Core Transformation appears to be far more effective in making rapid and permanent changes than anything I’ve been doing with standard coaching models and techniques. My clients deserve the very best and most effective methods of making change, with the fewest risks. I believe Core Transformation is one of the best methods available today for doing just that.

Because no beliefs in anything religious or spiritual are required to follow the simple steps, it works even if you don’t believe in any of that stuff or don’t think the technique will work. Connirae wasn’t even interested in anything “spiritual” when she discovered this way of working with people–she was just trying to develop a much more effective technique of solving human problems!

This technique is very widely applicable: from career challenges, to relationship problems, to personal habits, goals, feelings, “blocks,” etc. It is effective with just about any unwanted feeling, behavior, or response, or even with making things you like about yourself more full and rich, and goals accomplished more smoothly and easily. It also eliminates goals that are motivated by an intention like “if only I can achieve X, then I’ll be happy…”–but you probably don’t have any of those.

If you are interested in trying out this work, please email me at duff [at] precisionchange [dot] com or give me a call: 303-520-8658.

I ask that we do in-person or video coaching only, so go buy yourself a $30 USB video camera, download Skype, and make sure you are on a fast internet connection. I need to be able to see your non-verbal responses, so video or in-person is required. Also, this process takes time, so we will need not just 1 but 2 full hours to give you the experience of transformation that will most benefit you. I’ve squeezed some sessions into 90 minutes, but I wasn’t able to complete all the steps to really deepen the state and make the change full and lasting.

How Much for Core Coaching?

I’m wanting to make this new Core Transformation Coaching affordable, especially given the financial crisis most of us are experiencing. I generally charge $75 for one hour of less-effective conventional coaching (and many less-skilled coaches charge $150 for a 30 minute phone call!). I’m pricing the 2 hour sessions at $100, and for the next month (until October 31st, 2008), I’m offering a special 1/2 price deal for your first session: two full hours of powerful, potentially life-changing work for just $50!

(By the way, if you don’t want coaching, you could always read the book, or learn Core Transformation from this wonderful DVD set.)

I used to do a first session free, but I’m thinking many people will only need one session of Core Transformation to powerfully move forward in an area of life they are currently feeling blocked. However, if you absolutely need coaching but cannot afford even $50, write to me or give me a call, tell me your story, and I’ll consider giving a further discount or a free session.

My goal in our session(s) will be to teach you how to do the technique for yourself. I find that the conventional coaching model, with all it’s talk of empowerment, puts the accountability for change on the coaching relationship and in that way increases dependence on having a coach. While that works out great for the coach, it’s not the best I as a coach can do for my clients. By empowering you to help yourself, we can focus in our sessions on the things you cannot do for yourself.

While I’m sorry for those of you who loved Precision Change, I’m excited to be practicing and facilitating this powerful process. I hope you’ll join me in transforming your life!

Yours,
~Duff

p.s. Once again, if you want to experience the transformational power of Core Transformation–which is nothing like most techniques of personal development–then email me or give me a call today! Also, feel free to write to me any other thoughts you have about the show being canceled, about your experience with personal development, or any other feedback to what I’ve shared with you in this “confession.” I’d love to hear from you: duff [at] precisionchange [dot] com.

At one point, becoming “the next Tony Robbins” was actually my goal, a goal I now feel embarrassed to admit I once had. Especially since I saw recently that James Arthur Ray had beat me to it:

From 3:57-4:07 James tells a joke that is exactly the same as joke I’ve heard Tony Robbins tell. Of course, Tony is no stranger to plagiarism either–a good 75% of what he does comes directly from NLP, which he reworked and renamed NAC to avoid a lawsuit.

After extensive research, I’ve discovered the top 7 “success strategies” for becoming a personal development cult leader:

1. Bigger is better. If you want massive success as a pop icon of personal development, you must think and act in larger-than-life terms. It helps if you are over 6′6″ tall and weigh over 240 lbs (solid muscle of course). Speak loudly and quickly. Take up a LOT of space–that way, there will be no room for people to think or object. Dress either in fine suits, or like a rock star–your choice. Your seminars should be at least 2000 people, even if you have to pay people to attend at first, although some have had success with smaller groups (especially therapy process groups). 50ft jumbotrons, stadium music, lights and lasers are all a nice touch. Here’s a good example of your future lifestyle from Tony Robbins’ Unleash the Power Within (warning: the volume is loud and distorted):

2. Use the word “unlimited” as much as possible. People hate the inherent limits of the conditioned world. Instead of providing a way of overcoming suffering by accepting the world as it is, simply deny that limits exist by creating a fantasy world of words. For example: “unlimited power,” “your unlimited potential,” “the unlimited market potential,” “unlimited wealth,” etc. Everyone knows all markets are limited by definition, potential is limited by all sorts of factors, and only a megalomaniac would want unlimited power or wealth. To overcome this minor objection, induce a state of mania with a large group (see above) while appealing to people’s greed. This should eliminate deviance and insure compliance. You’ll be amazed at how suggestible and gullible people are!

3. Model your inner circle after other successful cults. Why recreate the wheel when so many have already succeeded at creating devoted followers, sleeping with hundreds of beautiful women, getting people to work for free, etc. So much research has already been done on cults and cult formation. Offer the “opportunity” to work for you for free, and then cull members of this volunteer workforce to join your inner circle of devotees. This handy training video says it all, really:

4. Offer free or cheap initial seminars to hook victims. All great personal development gurus make sure that the initial seminar is free or reasonably priced. This is a great bait-and-switch, and also makes people feel like they owe you something. Use the altered state you have elicited in your audience to deliver a long, multiple hour, extremely aggressive pitch right at the emotional peak of your workshop. Don’t forget to use all of your advanced understanding of human psychology, sales, and manipulation!

Make sure to charge at least $5,000-10,000 for this “advanced” training to create extreme perceived value–equivalent or greater than a college education in 5 days–even though the advanced training is basically the intro repackaged. Encourage participants who don’t have the money to put it on a credit card or post-date a check, using the magical manifestation powers thinking they’ve learned in the seminar to somehow find a way to make the money by the time the check clears. Distract from the fact that many will issue chargebacks or bounce checks when they realize they were being manipulated–have your trained collections team (or what we like to call “financial coaches”) work with such resistance later.

Answer objections about the outlandish prices in advance by framing resistance to impulsively buying as “limiting beliefs” that will cause financial failure throughout their lives if they can’t “break through” them now, ignoring the fact that many previous participants in the advanced courses declared bankruptcy due to this “success strategy” and the high costs of the workshops. If necessary, plant people in the audience to run to the sales tables to create social proof. That should get you a good 2/3rds of people signing up, and even after chargebacks and bounced checks you’ll still net a pretty profit.

5. Publicly thank people, but don’t cite anything. Thank authors that you’ve ripped material from publicly and with tears in your eyes. This will end up sounding like you have referenced where your ideas came from (most of which are not original, after all, since the only thing you are an expert in is your own PR). Yet since you haven’t actually referenced any idea in particular, you’ll still sound like you made up all this stuff on your own. What better way to come off as a nice and incredibly brilliant guy when you are actually a narcissistic megalomaniac! By the way, don’t get a degree in any psychological field, so you won’t have any pesky colleagues or overseeing boards. In order to pull that off though, you must…

6. Polish your image, not your content. You could focus on better techniques for helping people and relieving their suffering, but how would that help you become a rock star and get all the ladies! Don’t be silly. Work on what’s most important: your image. Get your teeth whitened and capped. Get on Oprah. Surround yourself with celebrities at every opportunity (even get them as clients). Sue the crap out of all detractors. Superficiality breeds success. If you want people to treat you like a god, you must look like one!

7. Start a Multi-Level Marketing scheme. Multi-level marketing is great…if you’re at the top of the pyramid! By starting an MLM, you can leverage the hype from your CDs and seminars towards making you money. MLM’s don’t actually provide any real chance of anyone making money, but you won’t need to worry about that, for you can twist your teachings by spinning structural inequities as being the fault of individuals who aren’t “going for it 1000%,” have a “negative attitude,” or have a bad “money blueprint”…which means they are in need of more seminars!

There you have it–the 7 Secrets of Success for developing your superpowered personal development cult…er mastermind group.

Have any additional tips? Please add them in the comments.

The questions I never hear asked however in personal development are “who doesn’t need more personal power? When does someone have too much personal power? How much do we want? What is the optimum amount, and what happens when we have too much?”

From my personal experience watching people in personal development communities and developing personal power myself, too much personal power can definitely be a bad thing. Let’s take an example.

Imagine a weak, shy young man who has terrible luck with women and who decides he wants to become more confident with the ladies. He does all sorts of inner work to get in touch with his emotions and communicate more authentically, all of which is really good stuff. But since he’s framed his life around the development of personal power, he now sees all social interactions in terms of hierarchies, and aims to be top dog (alpha) in all situations. While he’s not exactly a macho jerk due to his innate sensitivity and his new slick communication skills and emotional authenticity, he’s still a bit of an asshole in a strange way. For instance, nobody else can get a word in when he walks in the door due to his overwhelming personal power and charisma. He can’t be missed, as he now dresses in stylish and even flashy ways. He tells extremely interesting stories, talks loudly, and takes up a lot of space.

Sound far fetched? Sound like “it could never happen to me?” Well, yes, it can happen to you. It happened to me for a while, and I’ve seen it directly happen to others I know personally and peripherally. It’s a strange experience, going from a sense of such deep unworthiness and shyness to suddenly (and very naturally) dominating conversation, holding listeners enraptured with every word, beaming confidence and taking up space.

When one is afraid of taking up space, often the injunction from personal development literature (and popular men’s work and “seduction community” stuff) is to confidently take up space, even with your body language (hold your legs apart when you sit, speak loudly and quickly, etc.). But this frames social interaction in terms of a zero-sum game (if I win, you lose or vice versa). If there is only so much social-emotional space to occupy and I’m now taking up more than my fair share, it leaves less room for others.

When you see social interaction as a non-zero-sum game (we can both win), then personal power becomes far less important, and in fact having a lot of it can overwhelm or overpower someone else who is say wanting to contemplate an idea slowly and carefully.

When I was first developing and working on getting enough personal power, I held certain people up as role models: Tony Robbins, breakdancers, even rap artists. But now I see things a bit differently. The Tony Robbins of the Personal Power tapes sounds to me like a self-absorbed narcissist (I don’t know him personally though, and it was the 80’s). Breakdancers sometimes appear overly confident, as if picking a fight so they can show off. Rap artists seem sex and power obsessed (how many women and cars does one man need?).

Everyone has a need for personal power, just as everyone has a need for food. But just as our need for food is not infinite, and taking in too much can be harmful, too much personal power could be problematic for an individual, or at the very least for the people around that individual.

What do you think? Is there a limit to how much personal power is appropriate for a given person in a given context? Add your thoughts in the comments.

Recently my friend and partner on this project Ryan Oelke had to make some tough decisions about what he could be involved in, and unfortunately Precision Change didn’t make the cut. As we all know, especially us productivity geeks, there is always more to do than we could ever possibly do, and sometimes we have to make these kinds of decisions.

Precision Change is definitely going to continue as a show. It’s too fun for me, and I’ve been getting too much positive feedback to stop now. It would help me if more listeners became coaching clients so that I don’t have to get other jobs, but hey, all good things come to those who wait, right?

In the mean time, I’m looking for someone to help produce the show. In fact, I will give you the official title of Executive Producer for your resume. In a year when we are the #1 podcast in iTunes for the Health/Self-Help category, perhaps that will help you to make your first million.

In particular, I’m looking for help in two ways to continue the show:

1. Production/Audio Engineering. I need someone to do the audio editing (or I guess I could learn too, but it’s more fun with a team). It’s not that complicated, just simple edits in Garage Band or ProTools if you have it, mostly for “umms” and “ahhs” and 2-5 edits for content, plus arranging the PowerUp segment and initial voiceover. Probably a grand total of 1-2 hours per episode if you already have audio engineering skills.
2. Someone to keep Duff on track. As a creative type, I have a tendency to forget when things need to get done, when we need to search for more guests, etc. Ryan was great at reminding me about these details in a non-violent manner, even when I was getting them done at 1 in the morning.

If you are interested in either or both roles, please email duff [at] precisionchange [dot] com. The pay is low ($0), but if there is something you’d like to promote that is relevant to the show, I’d love to do it. It’s also a great resume builder, and I’m totally open to creative ideas of what to do with the show.

Also, if we come up with any ingenious ways of making cash from the show and this website (I have a couple ideas), I’d happily share the revenue in a way that is fair.

Are you shy? Do you lack self-confidence, motivation, and a belief in yourself?

If so, I feel your pain. I was a seriously shy kid who was afraid of basically everything, but especially other people. But through persistent effort and little acts of courage, I have significantly overcome the shyness of my youth and even unleashed a fair bit of charisma. If I can go from a painfully shy kid to a podcast host, you certainly can become more self-confident and create more of the life you desire.

Listen in as I, Duff McDuffee, talk with John Wesley, founder of popular personal development blog PickTheBrain.com and another formerly shy guy, about getting started with personal development.

In this conversation, you will learn…

• What book John Wesley recommends for getting started in developing yourself.
• The key reframe for getting over shyness and social anxiety.
• How little acts of courage add up to build a solid belief in yourself and your abilities.
• How to save two birds with one bird sanctuary through the use of “multiple positives.”
• Why the 9-5 office worker may become a thing of the past, and how this benefits your career goals.
• Why you need a compelling vision for your future if you are lacking self-confidence and motivation.

Listen to the end for a tip from the very insightful Charles Gilkey of ProductiveFlourishing.com.

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Stuff we talked about:

- PickTheBrain.com, the classy self-development blog founded by this week’s guest
- Steve Pavlina’s blog, the blog that launched a thousand blogs
- The Magic of Thinking Big, an excellent book for newbies to self-development, a classic
- Overcoming shyness article, a popular post from PickTheBrain
- Multiple positives article, a great concept and solid post
- The 9-5 office worker as a thing of the past? I think so too, in fact it already is for me!
- The Four Hour Workweek, Tim Ferris’ controversial book, filled with strange ideas that might forever turn you into an anti-9to5′er
- WordPress, the wonderful free and open-source blog software that this blog and many others are powered by

John Wesley

Duff McDuffee

What David perhaps doesn’t realize is that being isn’t the same as inactivity (or not-doing). Rather it is the connection with a fundamental, and formless aspect, of reality. That connection can happen during relative inactivity or during the most intense activity. The sages of all of the world’s wisdom tradition have recognized this. In the Taoist tradition we see references to the phrase “effortless effort”, in the Christian tradition we see a deep concern with the integration of contemplation and action, and in the Buddhist tradition we see the activity of the Bodhisattva, who does not forsake the world for some sort of pure being, but rather commits to helping all beings realize that same being. In short, there is absolutely no contradiction between being and doing, and many people throughout the millennia have recognized this.

But let’s not be too hard on David Allen. Being isn’t his main focus, and for what he has done in the world of doing, he has helped a tremendous number of people. Some of those people (like me) have even used his system to deepen their connection with and recognition of being. Thanks David!

That being said, if David, or any other productivity nuts are reading this, I want you to know that just as there are some great methodologies to help us do, like his GTD system, there are also many great methodologies for being. Indeed, just as David suggestions systematic instructions for how to become more organized, effective, and attentive to our life’s activity, there are many systematic instructions for helping one come to find deep levels of being, of stillness, and peace, in the very midst of doing!

Meditation techniques like Vipassana, Zen, Centering Prayer, Raja Yoga (not just the physical poses but the whole system of yoga), Vedanta, Sufi meditation, etc. are all methodologies for revealing the deepest truths about who we are. This truth is not opposed to the world (as many spiritual seekers often believe) but is rather something that deeply transcends the world, while also being intimately connected with it. It is both immanent and transcendent.

When one begins to awaken to their true being, their engagement with the world can emerge from a place of much greater stillness, peace, and clarity. Certain confusions can drop away, and we are free to engage our lives with a greater sense of freedom. This can be a tremendous compliment for mastering productivity, and as far as I can tell, one without the other can actually be a great disservice to our highest potential as human beings.

Are you confusing upgrading your computer with upgrading your life?

Maybe not, but are you really asking the tough questions of life, or are you finding yourself installing another FireFox plugin, hoping it will somehow ease that sense of angst and anxiety you are feeling about your life? Isn’t it time you sunk a little deeper and got real with yourself?

This week I (Duff) talk with Clay Collins, writer at TheGrowingLife.com, about truly hacking your life by asking the tough questions and living creatively.

This is part 2 of 2. Check out part 1 here.

In this second part of the conversation, we talk about…

• Why computer hacks probably shouldn’t be considered “life” hacks…and what should.
• Why “if there’s a path, it’s not your path,” and how to find yours!
• How no Firefox add-on is going to help you ask the tough questions of what life’s about.
• Why there’s no “there” there in doing things that are “going to lead to somewhere.”
• Why you should never affirm “everything I touch turns to gold” or risk ending up like King Midas!
• The many forms of lifestyle design, and why only a custom design will do.
• Why if you are truly lifehacking, you might appear flaky for a while, but eventually you will work out the bugs.

Listen in to the end for a tip from Charles Gilkey of productiveflourishing.com, a professor of Philosophy and a smart, insightful guy with whom I had the pleasure of chatting recently. I recommend you check out his blog.

If you like this episode, please share the love by Digging it, giving it a thumbs up on StumbleUpon, or bookmark it on del.icio.us. Thanks!

Stuff we talked about:

- The Growing Life, Clay’s kickass blog
- The Life Hack Misnomer, an article on Clay’s blog that goes more in depth into the “lifehack” language, and where it goes wrong
- Philosopher’s Notes, Brian Johnson’s cool personal development book summary service (PDF’s and MP3 audio). Tell Brian that Duff sent you.
- The Cult of Abundance, Goal Autoimmune Disorder, & Abundance 2.0, a killer blog post from Clay, complete with videos from YouTube.
- Vagabonding, a book and a lifestyle for living and traveling on the cheap.
- The Future of Success, an audiobook I recently listened to. Robert Reich is a freakin’ genius. I need to read more Economics.

Clay Collins

Duff McDuffee