The subtitle of Tony Robbins’ book Awaken the Giant Within–which sold over 1 million copies and influenced a generation of personal developers–is “How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical, and Financial Destiny!”
The big fat problem is that you cannot ultimately control any of these things.
The recession is teaching many people who thought they were in control of their financial destiny that in fact, their personal finances have a whole lot to do with the creation of obscure financial instruments that they knew nothing about, and had no say in creating.
If you think you can control your mind, you’ve never meditated. Try sitting for 60 seconds without thinking of anything at all. How’d it go? Even positive thinking is an ongoing battle against negativity, within and without.
Emotions are often compared to the ocean. Trying to control the ocean will get you killed. You can sail on the ocean, you can surf on the ocean, but it is foolish to try and control the ocean.
Our ultimate destiny is death, and we can’t control that (at least yet–bio-nanotech may change things). And even worse, there isn’t even a solid, permanent sense of “I” to be found in any of our thoughts, feelings, sensations, beliefs, or even our body, as all these things are constantly changing.
So how should we approach this idea of control?
There is a clue in the idea of sailing or surfing. While we cannot ultimately control anything that is important to us, we can learn to surf the waves of life. We can be smart enough to not sail into a raging storm. We can practice flowing with the ups and downs, using the wind and waves to guide us where we want to go. And that can be a whole lot of fun!
In Buddhism, a metaphor is often given of “entering the stream.” Once we’ve jumped into a stream, just flow with it! We don’t have ultimate control of where our life is headed, but we can somewhat steer and avoid major rocks as we flow towards the ocean. Sometimes there are dangerous rapids, sometimes slow, stagnant pools.
Swimming upstream is attempting to be in control. That’s a serious waste of energy. Not steering, surfing, or sailing and just letting the waves push you around is stupid. Tony Robbins and other personal development gurus can only help you to surf, not to control the ocean. “Spiritual” teachers more directly teach you how to stop swimming upstream and learn to flow. Both are important.
You are not in ultimate control of your life, but you can learn to sail through life with more ease and enjoyment.