Ever wanted to make millions of dollars and have thousands of screaming fans? No, I’m not talking about becoming a rock star. I’m talking about becoming the next Tony Robbins! The next “success coach of the stars”! The next God-man teaching others the “secret” of “unlimited power/wealth/health/sex/happiness”!
At one point, becoming “the next Tony Robbins” was actually my goal, a goal I now feel embarrassed to admit I once had. Especially since I saw recently that James Arthur Ray had beat me to it:
From 3:57-4:07 James tells a joke that is exactly the same as joke I’ve heard Tony Robbins tell. Of course, Tony is no stranger to plagiarism either–a good 75% of what he does comes directly from NLP, which he reworked and renamed NAC to avoid a lawsuit.
After extensive research, I’ve discovered the top 7 “success strategies” for becoming a personal development cult leader:
1. Bigger is better. If you want massive success as a pop icon of personal development, you must think and act in larger-than-life terms. It helps if you are over 6′6″ tall and weigh over 240 lbs (solid muscle of course). Speak loudly and quickly. Take up a LOT of space–that way, there will be no room for people to think or object. Dress either in fine suits, or like a rock star–your choice. Your seminars should be at least 2000 people, even if you have to pay people to attend at first, although some have had success with smaller groups (especially therapy process groups). 50ft jumbotrons, stadium music, lights and lasers are all a nice touch. Here’s a good example of your future lifestyle from Tony Robbins’ Unleash the Power Within (warning: the volume is loud and distorted):
2. Use the word “unlimited” as much as possible. People hate the inherent limits of the conditioned world. Instead of providing a way of overcoming suffering by accepting the world as it is, simply deny that limits exist by creating a fantasy world of words. For example: “unlimited power,” “your unlimited potential,” “the unlimited market potential,” “unlimited wealth,” etc. Everyone knows all markets are limited by definition, potential is limited by all sorts of factors, and only a megalomaniac would want unlimited power or wealth. To overcome this minor objection, induce a state of mania with a large group (see above) while appealing to people’s greed. This should eliminate deviance and insure compliance. You’ll be amazed at how suggestible and gullible people are!
3. Model your inner circle after other successful cults. Why recreate the wheel when so many have already succeeded at creating devoted followers, sleeping with hundreds of beautiful women, getting people to work for free, etc. So much research has already been done on cults and cult formation. Offer the “opportunity” to work for you for free, and then cull members of this volunteer workforce to join your inner circle of devotees. This handy training video says it all, really:
4. Offer free or cheap initial seminars to hook victims. All great personal development gurus make sure that the initial seminar is free or reasonably priced. This is a great bait-and-switch, and also makes people feel like they owe you something. Use the altered state you have elicited in your audience to deliver a long, multiple hour, extremely aggressive pitch right at the emotional peak of your workshop. Don’t forget to use all of your advanced understanding of human psychology, sales, and manipulation!
Make sure to charge at least $5,000-10,000 for this “advanced” training to create extreme perceived value–equivalent or greater than a college education in 5 days–even though the advanced training is basically the intro repackaged. Encourage participants who don’t have the money to put it on a credit card or post-date a check, using the magical manifestation powers thinking they’ve learned in the seminar to somehow find a way to make the money by the time the check clears. Distract from the fact that many will issue chargebacks or bounce checks when they realize they were being manipulated–have your trained collections team (or what we like to call “financial coaches”) work with such resistance later.
Answer objections about the outlandish prices in advance by framing resistance to impulsively buying as “limiting beliefs” that will cause financial failure throughout their lives if they can’t “break through” them now, ignoring the fact that many previous participants in the advanced courses declared bankruptcy due to this “success strategy” and the high costs of the workshops. If necessary, plant people in the audience to run to the sales tables to create social proof. That should get you a good 2/3rds of people signing up, and even after chargebacks and bounced checks you’ll still net a pretty profit.
5. Publicly thank people, but don’t cite anything. Thank authors that you’ve ripped material from publicly and with tears in your eyes. This will end up sounding like you have referenced where your ideas came from (most of which are not original, after all, since the only thing you are an expert in is your own PR). Yet since you haven’t actually referenced any idea in particular, you’ll still sound like you made up all this stuff on your own. What better way to come off as a nice and incredibly brilliant guy when you are actually a narcissistic megalomaniac! By the way, don’t get a degree in any psychological field, so you won’t have any pesky colleagues or overseeing boards. In order to pull that off though, you must…
6. Polish your image, not your content. You could focus on better techniques for helping people and relieving their suffering, but how would that help you become a rock star and get all the ladies! Don’t be silly. Work on what’s most important: your image. Get your teeth whitened and capped. Get on Oprah. Surround yourself with celebrities at every opportunity (even get them as clients). Sue the crap out of all detractors. Superficiality breeds success. If you want people to treat you like a god, you must look like one!
7. Start a Multi-Level Marketing scheme. Multi-level marketing is great…if you’re at the top of the pyramid! By starting an MLM, you can leverage the hype from your CDs and seminars towards making you money. MLM’s don’t actually provide any real chance of anyone making money, but you won’t need to worry about that, for you can twist your teachings by spinning structural inequities as being the fault of individuals who aren’t “going for it 1000%,” have a “negative attitude,” or have a bad “money blueprint”…which means they are in need of more seminars!
There you have it–the 7 Secrets of Success for developing your superpowered personal development cult…er mastermind group. 
Have any additional tips? Please add them in the comments.